Genealogy Humor

*****FAMOUS OLDE TIME S'THINKERS"""""

I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up . . . they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman

The time is at hand when the wearing of a prayer shawl and skullcap will not bar a man from the White House, unless, of course, the man is Jewish.
Jules Farber

The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
Calvin Trillin

It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
Sam Levenson

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.
Joe E. Lewis

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.
Jackie Mason

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
Woody Allen

Too bad that all the people who know how to run this country are busy driving taxis and cutting hair.
George Burns

Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
Mort Sahl

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
Milton Berle

I don't want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell me the truth even if it costs them their jobs.
Sam Goldwyn

Television is a medium because it is neither rare nor well done.
Ernie Kovacs

With the collapse of vaudeville, new talent has no place to stink.
George Burns

When I bore people at a party, they think it is their fault.
Henry Kissinger

Getting into Heaven
What is Easter?

Three blondes died and are at the pearly gates of heaven. St. Peter tells them that they can enter the gates if they can answer one simple question. St. Peter asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy! It's the holiday in November when everyone gets together, eats turkey, and are thankful..."

"Wrong!," replies St. Peter, and proceeds to ask the second blonde the same question, "What is Easter?"

The second blonde replies, "Easter is the holiday in December when we put up a nice tree, exchange presents, and celebrate the birth of Jesus."

St. Peter looks at the second blonde, shakes his head in disgust, tells her she's wrong, and then peers over his glasses at the third blonde and asks, "What is Easter?"

The third blonde smiles confidently and looks St. Peter in the eyes, "I know what Easter is."

"Oh?" says St. Peter, incredulously.

"Easter is the Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish celebration of Passover. Jesus and his disciples were eating at the last supper and Jesus was later deceived and turned over to the Romans by one of his disciples. The Romans took him to be crucified and he was stabbed in the side, made to wear a crown of thorns, and was hung on a cross with nails through his hands. He was buried in a nearby cave which was sealed off by a large boulder."

St. Peter smiles broadly with delight. The third blonde continues, "Every year the boulder is moved aside so that Jesus can come out... and, if he sees his shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter."

***** A Very Touching "Supposedly" True Story (someone sent me)*****

>>>> A small boy named Bruce lived in a suburb of Sydney, Australia. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, "You're driving me mad, Bruce."

>>>> One day, Bruce's mum came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mum, honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> The mum was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from school and moved out of Sydney, relocating to Newcastle.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Twenty-five years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have heart surgery, which only one surgeon could perform.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful. When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her.
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Then her face started to turn blue; she raised her hand, trying to tell him something, but then died a few minutes later.
>>>>
>>>> The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw our friend, Bruce, who was working as a janitor in the clinic, and had unplugged the oxygen equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner!

........ You didn't really think Bruce became a heart-surgeon, did you?????

In Sweden we are to celebrate Easter and under this feast we use to eat a lot of eggs, in various ways, forms and color. Si, I just made a new recipe on an easy dish, with the intent to make the flavors stay a long time in the mouth, just in contrast to that the fastening days are over.

"Eggalätt"

Ingredients
Two eggs,
half deciliter milk,
salt,
2 full spoons of wheat powder,
curcuma,
blackpepper,
Cayennepepper,
oregano,
cheese,
coriander
salami

How to
Mix all together just the way you like it and fry it in olive oil over low heat around 20 minutes under a top cover or what you call the lid on the pot, it's done when it's faintly resembles the consistent of an omelet, not an pancake.

Serve it with preferable a cup of coffee and a good cigarette to go along.

Happy Easter!

Easter Trivia

1. The name Easter derived its name from the Anglo-Saxon goddess Eastre, which symbolizes hare and egg.
2. Easter always falls between March 22 and April 25.
3. Easter is however now celebrated (in the words of the Book of Common Prayer) on the first Sunday after the full moon, which happens on, or after March 21, the Spring Equinox.
4. Since time immemorial, the egg has been considered as the symbol of rebirth.
5. The first Easter baskets were designed as such so as to give it an appearance of a bird's nests.
6. The custom of giving eggs at Easter time has been traced back from Egyptians, Gaul, Persians, Greeks and Romans, to whom the egg was a symbol of life.
7. During the medieval times, a festival of egg throwing was held in church, during which the priest would throw a hard-boiled egg to one of the choirboys. It would then be tossed from one choirboy to the next and whoever held the egg when the clock struck 12 was surely the winner and will retained the egg.
8. Americans however celebrated Easter with a large Easter egg hunt on the White House Lawn.
9. Pysanka is the term used for the practice of Easter egg painting.
10. The maiden chocolate egg recipes were made in Europe in the nineteenth century.
11. Each year nearly 90 million chocolate bunnies are made.
12. Besides Halloween, Easter holiday also paves way for confectionary business to prosper.
13. When it comes to eating of chocolate bunnies, as many as 76% of people prefer to eat the ears first.
14. Easter Bonnets are a throwback to the days when the people denied themselves the pleasure of wearing fine hats for the duration of Lent and to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. Before Easter was an official holiday, women would celebrate the arrival of spring by decorating head wreaths with fresh flowers. On Easter Sunday following the end of the Civil War, women and their daughters traded their dark, mourning veils for the pastel colors and fresh flowers of spring. They adorned their hats and bonnets with ribbons and blooming flowers. In the 1870’s a tradition emerged in New York City with a parade down 5th Avenue by the socially elite wearing elaborately decorated headgear after attending church services. The Easter Parade expanded beyond 5th Avenue and extended from Madison Square to Central Park after the event was made an American icon when Irving Berlin wrote the 1948 musical “The Easter Parade”. (The song was originally written in 1933.) For more info & some pix of some hats see: http://www.theeternalheadonist.com/theeternalheadonistblogthe-histo...
15. Kids' favorite Easter foodstuff comprises of the Red jellybeans.
16. Some Churches still keep up the old tradition of using evergreens - symbolic of eternal life - embroidered in red on white, or woven in straw, but most now prefer displays of flowers in the spring colors of green, yellow and white.
17. The date of Passover is variable as it is dependent on the phases of the moon, and thus Easter is a movable feast.
18. Common Easter symbols include the Cross, Easter Bells, the Easter Lily, and of course, Eggs and Rabbits!

Hi Patricia, I clicked on the link to see the hats. I had no idea that easter bonnets were so elaborate!

Men's Brains & Women's Brains...a story about nothing!!!

http://www.youtube.com/embed/ulP6f9zXtTs?rel=0

Norm, that video was tooooooo funny. It reminded me of the following:

-- BRAINS --

In the hospital, the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. 'I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,' he said as he surveyed the worried faces.

'The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for the brain yourselves...'

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, 'Well, how much does a brain cost?'

The doctor quickly responded, '$5,000 for a male brain, and $200 for a female brain.'

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask, 'Why is the male brain so much more?'

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the entire group, ‘It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used.'

Noelle, I couldn't believe some of the hats either!!!

Fact Sheet on Easter

What is Easter? Easter is the most important time in the Christian calendar. Easter forms part of Holy week; Holy week consists of Palm Sunday - the week before Easter Sunday, Good Thursday - the day of Jesus' Last Supper, Good Friday - the day that Jesus was crucified and Easter Sunday the day Jesus rose from the dead.

Why do we celebrate Easter? Christians celebrate the story of Easter and rejoice in the belief that Jesus died for our sins and was resurrected (came back) from death. Jesus was reborn and lives today; he was reborn because God exists and is alive.

Why does the date of Easter vary? The date of Easter varies each year as it is based on the lunar calendar and the position of the moon. Easter is celebrated on the Sunday after the full moon following March 21st.

Good Friday is the day that Jesus died. It is called Good Friday as Jesus died for the good of mankind.

Easter Sunday is the day that Jesus came back to life; it is a day of celebration and the day that we exchange gifts of eggs.

Why do we exchange eggs at Easter time, what do they represent? In Christian faith eggs represent a symbol of new beginnings, new life and renewed faith.

The word Easter dates back to early England; it is thought to relate to the Pagan goddess of spring and fertility Ēostre (also called Ostara).

The act of exchanging gifts of eggs dates back to the time of the Egyptians and Persians! Painted eggs were given as gifts to symbolize fertility and new life

The Easter Bunny originated in Germany, the idea was taken to America during the 1700s.

In 1879, the tradition of the Easter egg roll on the grounds of the White House began. Arranged by the 19th president of America Rutherford Hayes and his wife Lucy, the tradition is still in practice today and occurs on the Monday after Easter weekend.

Chocolate Easter eggs were not introduced until the early 1900s. Before the exchanging of chocolate eggs, gifts consisted of decorated chicken eggs and stuffed hollow cardboard eggs.

Early chocolate Easter eggs were much smaller and solid, not large and hollow as they usually are today.

Did you know that Pretzels were originally associated with Easter? They are thought to be invented by ancient German monks and were created in a pattern to represent two folding arms in prayer. Some people believe that the pretzel is the world’s oldest snack food!

Different countries celebrate Easter in different ways. In Sweden they do not have an Easter Bunny, they have an Easter Wizard!

Popular Easter symbols include; the Cross, Eggs, Rabbits, Easter flowers, Baskets, Nests, springtime and Simnel cake.

The Pope and the Rabbi

Several centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal: he'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert or leave.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other. The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The rabbi looked back and raised one finger. Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat. The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. The rabbi pulled out an apple. With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy.

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened. The Pope said, 'First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. The rabbi responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins, and the rabbi pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue.'

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won. 'I haven't a clue,' said the rabbi. 'First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger. Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here.

'And then what?' asked a woman.

'Who knows?' said the rabbi. 'He took out his lunch so I took out mine.'

Patricia Ann Scoggin,

Very good humour about the Pope and the Italian Jewish Rabbi.

The Longest Nerve In The Body

Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects
the eyeball to the anus? It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is
responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life.

If you don't believe it, pull a hair from your ass and see if it doesn't
bring a tear to your eyes.

My public service is done for the day!

Private I'm a nurse & forgotten about that nerve. Had to share this with my email "family". Wonder how many of my nurse friends will remember that nerve?

Patricia Ann - I am a nurse as well. Quite few of my class recall that nerve

***** "Gentle Thoughts from Seniors for Today" *****

* Birds of a feather flock together...And then krap on your car!

* A penny saved is a Government oversight!

* The older you get, the tougher It is to lose weight, because by
Then your body and your fat have Gotten to be really good friends!

* The easiest way to find Something lost around the House is to buy a replacement...

* He who hesitates is probably right!

* Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are 'XL' !

* The sole purpose of a child's Middle name is so he can Tell when he's really in trouble!

* Did you ever notice: When you Put the 2 words 'The' and 'IRS'
Together it spells 'Theirs....?

* Aging: Eventually you will Reach a point when you stop
Lying about your age and Start bragging about it!!!

* Some people try to turn back Their odometers. Not me, I want
People to know 'why' I look this Way. I've traveled a long way and
Some of the roads weren't paved!

* When you are dissatisfied and Would like to go back to your
Youth, think of Algebra???

* You know you are getting Old when everything either Dries up or Leaks!!!

* One of the many things no One tells you about aging Is that it is such a nice change From being young. Ah, being Young is beautiful, but being Old is comfortable!!!

* Lord, Keep your arm around My shoulder and your hand Over my mouth... ... AMEN...

$$$$$.....GREED......$$$$$

https://www.youtube.com/embed/P5_Msrdg3Hk

....a tired Marine on a train......

The train was quite crowded and a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat. There seemed to be one next to a well-dressed French woman, but when he got there, he saw it was taken by the woman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have that seat?"

The French woman sniffed and said to no one in particular, "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat."

The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat available was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."

She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!"

This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the little dog, tossed it out the train window and sat down.

The woman shrieked, "Someone defend me! Put this American in his place!"

An English gentleman sitting nearby spoke up...
"Sir, you Americans seem to have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road..... And now, sir.....you seem to have thrown the wrong B**ch out the window "!!!!!

Mental Test

A noted psychiatrist was a guest at a gathering of humor editors, and his host naturally broached the subject in which the doctor was most at ease. 



"Would you mind telling me, Doctor," he asked, "how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?" 



"Nothing is easier," he replied. "You ask a simple question which everyone should answer with no trouble. If there is hesitation, that puts you on the track." 



"What sort of question?"

"Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?'" 



The editor thought a moment, then said with a nervous laugh, "You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

.........."Jake Takes His Wife Deer Hunting"...a bad judgement call!!!

It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up raring to go bag the first deer of the season.

He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Erin, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage.

Jake asks her, "What are you up to?"

Erin smiles, "I'm going hunting with you! The kids are with their granddad."...

Jake, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides, To take her along.

Three hours later they arrive at a game preserve just outside of Malta, Montana. Jake sets his lovely wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her "If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and
I’ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot.

He walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Erin couldn't bag an elephant - much less a deer. Not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots.

Quickly, Jake starts running back. As he gets closer to her stand, he hears Erin screaming,
"Get the hell away from my deer!"

Confused and frightened, Jake races faster towards his screaming wife, and again he hears her yell, "Get the hell away from my deer!"... followed by another volley of gunfire!

Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Jake is surprised to see a Montana game warden with his hands high in the air.

The game warden, obviously distraught, yelled, "Okay,okay, lady.....

.....You can have your deer! Just let me get my saddle off of it!"

The First Parent
by Bill Cosby

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his kids.

After creating Heaven and Earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't."

"Don't what?" Adam replied.

"Don't eat the forbidden fruit."

"Forbidden fruit? Really? Where is it?"

"It's over there," said God, wondering why He hadn't stopped after making the elephants.

A few minutes later God saw the kids having an apple break and He was angry.

"Didn't I tell you not to eat that fruit?" the First Parent asked.

"Uh huh," Adam replied.

"Then why did you?"

"I dunno," Adam answered.

God's punishment was that Adam and Eve should have children of their own.

Thus the pattern was set and it has never changed. But there is reassurance in this story.

If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give them wisdom and they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself.

If God had trouble handling children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?

Getting Married
Daughter Says: " Daddy, I am coming home to get married.Take out your cheque book Dad , I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in Australia and he lives in the UK . We met on a dating website, became friends on Facebook, had long chats on Whatsapp, he proposed to me on Skype and now we've had two months of relationship through Viber. Dad, I need your blessings good wishes and a big wedding."
Father Replys: "Wow! Really!! Then get married on Twitter, have fun on Tango, buy your kids on Amazon , pay through Paypal. And if you are fed up with your husband....sell him on EBay

HaHaHaHa!!!!! I love it Colleen!

An elderly man in Miami calls his son in New York and says...
"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the old man says.
"We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her," and he hangs up.
Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone, "Like hell they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this."
She calls her father immediately and screams at the old man,
"You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back... and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says,

"They're coming for Passover and paying their own airfares."

***************************
Sadie: Doctor, write me a prescription for birth control pills.

Doctor: You're in your eighties, Sadie... You don't need them.

Sadie: I know what I need. Write me the prescription.

The doctor gives her the prescription.

Several weeks later she is again in the doctor's office.

Doctor: So how are you feeling Sadie?

Sadie: I feel wonderful. Now I sleep like a baby...Thank you for the pills.

Doctor: But those were birth control pills, not sleeping pills.

Sadie: Listen to me...Every morning I put one in my granddaughter's orange juice, and now I can sleep like a baby!!!

Private

Private
I laughed until I had tears in my eyes!!! Have passed it on to my email friends & family.
(sorry about the above, my clicking finger was over zealous!!!)

Lessons You Learned As A Child:

• You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
• No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
• Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
• You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
• When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
• Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
• If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
• Never ask a 3-year old to hold a tomato.
• Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac.
• School lunches stick to the wall.
• Never wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

******************************************************************************

Lessons You Learned As An Adult:

• There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example, I am sitting here thinking about how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt.

• Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
• The more you complain, the longer God lets you live
.
• The best way to keep kids at home is to make the home a pleasant atmosphere... and let the air out of their tires.
 (Now if I could just figure out how to get them to leave once they have become an adult!!!)
• You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
• Raising teenagers is like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree.
• Middle age is when you choose cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

• If you can remain calm, you don't have all the facts.

• Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

• Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.

******************************************************************************
Wish I could include pix here as these come from some good ones!!!

Some Life Humor observations:
• The biggest lie I tell myself is "I don't need to write that down, I'll remember it."
• It's sad how quickly people can forget about you, until they want something from you.
• Never ask Google for Medical Advice... I have gone from mild headache to Clinically Dead in Three Clicks.
• Some Days I just wish I had the wisdom of a ninety year old, the body of a twenty year old and the energy of a three year old!
• When life gives you Lemons, Freeze them and throw them as hard as you can at the people making your life difficult.
• Ice cream is clearly God's way of saying He likes us a little bit chubby.
• The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
• Lord, give me Coffee to change the things I can change and Wine to accept the things I can't.
• A woman is always right! Now sometimes we may be confused, misinformed, bitchy, stubborn, unchangeable and maybe a little emotional now and then, but NEVER wrong!

PHENOMENAL 2 LETTER WORD

THIS IS SOOOOOOO CLEVER... I never knew that one word in the English language can be a noun, verb, adj, adv, prep. :

"UP"


Read until the end ...


This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv.], [prep], [adj.], [n] or [v].


It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky
or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?


At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election (if there is a tie, it is a toss UP) and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car.


At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.


To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special.


And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is blocked UP...


We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!


To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.


If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with (UP to) a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it soaks UP the earth. When it does not rain for a while, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . My time is UP!


Oh . . . One more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?


U P!


Did that one crack you UP?


Don't screw UP.. Send this on to the people you look UP in your address book . . . Or not . . . it's UP to you.


Now I'll shut UP!!!

Whoop it up Norm!