Genealogy Humor

Any reason why you are posting this under Genealogy Humor?
You also know we have some bishops projects you can expand and add these profiles to?
https://www.geni.com/projects/Danske-biskopper-i-gennem-tiden/27273
https://www.geni.com/projects/Norske-biskoper/428

Yesterday I found out that a Norwegian man had me blocked because I had set up the right parents and wives to a profile he had created, he didn't like that, but he had apparently nothing at all against that "his" profile was married to a woman that had been resting in the coffin for the past 30 years before the wedding day, that is actually fun...in a morbid way.

It does seem that quite a lot of people are into "owning dead people" on this site. Thinking that if they touch some profile, it is no longer available to others.

... none of which relates to "Genealogy Humor" ...

Let's get back on topic, please. Interesting "sidebar"; however, ...

Ancestry – Brainy Quotes 1

1. You notice patterns. White guests often are mortified - that word again - when they learn their ancestors owned slaves. But I've never had a black guest who was upset to learn about white ancestry that probably involved forced sexual relations. Henry Louis Gates
2. When you start about family, about lineage and ancestry, you are talking about every person on earth. Alex Haley
3. The man who has nothing to boast of but his illustrious ancestry is like the potato - the best part under ground. Thomas Overbury
4. For me, ancestry is just one thing that connects us to people, and feeling connected to other people is generally a good thing, as long as one kind of connection does not have primacy over all the others. Heredity, race and nationhood are not the best criteria by which to judge our fellow humans. Jeremy Hardy
5. When I'm in England, I know I'm a visitor, but being a white man in England with ancestry that's German and Italian, I have a history with the Romans and the Saxons. I feel some connection and ancestry here, as weird as that sounds. Nicolas Cage
6. Women are outperforming men in almost every sphere of life in our society and the women of East Indian ancestry are no exception to this rule. They have broken the cultural mould. Kamla Persad-Bissessar
7. What's changed is we now have good anatomical, geological, archaeological evidence that Neanderthals are not our ancestors. When I wrote 'Lucy,' I considered Neanderthals ancestors of modern humans. We have gone back twice the age of Lucy, six million years. And we see that upright bipedal walking goes back that far in time. Donald Johanson
8. Every book is a quotation; and every house is a quotation out of all forests, and mines, and stone quarries; and every man is a quotation from all his ancestors. Ralph Waldo Emerson
9. Our cautious ancestors, when yawning, blocked the way to the entrance of evil spirits by putting their hands before their mouths. We find a reason for the gesture in the delicacy of manner, which forbids an indecent exposure. George Herbert Mead
10. We all have genes that come from our ancestors that aren't used - they're not turned on. So we actually carry ancient genes with us. If you could figure out how to turn those on, you could resurrect ancient characteristics from our ancestors. Jack Horner

Have you checked out: https://www.geni.com/projects/Picture-Board-for-Genealogy-Humor-Dis... recently??? I just added a few more pix to it. Hope you chuckle a few times when you check out the pix.

Pat

The art of ridiculing others mistakes

Explanation 1

22 years after his parents were deceased, their son opened his eyes for the first time in the lord's year 1710 at North Carolina most advanced cryotech science facility secretly hidden beneath the city hall, where they'd used the father's frozen sperms and one frozen egg from the mother, after the successful insemination in vitro, the embryo was placed in an artificial womb for 9 months, carefully taken care of under the supervision of an unknown local poultry farmer, but shortly after this successful experiment, it all fell into oblivion much due to fear of copyright Infringement.

Explanation 2

Someone have made an error.

The problem with correcting others grave mistakes

Someone has created an almost blank profile except for some clues to the name, they've also misplaced the profile, a profile with no added facts, nor dates of birth and death, just nada!

You find this shitty profile, you understand exactly what's wrong and where it belong, but the person who created it didn't or either doesn't care, that person just collects on profiles, empty or not, a lot of them up to tens of thousands to be precise in the worst cases.

Now you can either ignore the profile, or place it in the right place, but by doing so you involuntary give some credit back to the creator of the profile by correcting this persons mistakes. Afterwards it looks pretty good, a solid profile full of correct information, but, the creators name are fully visible as the creator of the profile.

What you now have done is to have helped this sloppy person to look better, smarter, intelligent, meticulous, just about everything this person ain't. They get credit by your effort without having done much more than uploaded a couple of hundreds or thousands profiles at once by pressing on upload my GEDCOM files, how those individuals collected them are still a mystery, since that would require the ability to actually be able to read..at some point or at least collect the raw data.

So what to do, you want the world tree to be correct, you want that every unique profile only exist in one place, but after a while when you have spotted the same names on some of the sloppy people behind some of these added profiles, you also might feel some kind of automatic resistance to help them, and once you start fix their faults en masse, they soon start poking around in profiles near you just to show you their presence, like adding something to your father, or deleting something of minor importance, and that eventually could lead to some kind of editing war.

But this is at the same time a very paradoxical behavior, you fixed their poor job performance, their faults, they gain on it, and other people could actually take them to be serious, but they show their gratitude by starting to hate you, make it more difficult for you, and in some cases restore an already fixed profile into nothing again.

And at the same time, by getting enemies, some of them will eventually start to question some of your connections into the world tree, now, have fun being the nice guy!

Just felt like answer this one.
10. We all have genes that come from our ancestors that aren't used - they're not turned on. So we actually carry ancient genes with us. If you could figure out how to turn those on, you could resurrect ancient characteristics from our ancestors. Jack Horner

Many of those genes actually turns on, after that we have died, this starts to happen after some hours and goes on for a couple of days. Quasi facts in fact.

Ancestry – Brainy Quotes 2

1. For the first half of geological time our ancestors were bacteria. Most creatures still are bacteria, and each one of our trillions of cells is a colony of bacteria. Richard Dawkins

2. Our ancestors are totally essential to our every waking moment, although most of us don't even have the faintest idea about their lives, their trials, their hardships or challenges. Annie Lennox

3. What I call my 'self' now is hardly a person at all. It's mainly a meeting place for various natural forces, desires, and fears, etcetera, some of which come from my ancestors, and some from my education, some perhaps from devils. The self you were really intended to be is something that lives not from nature but from God. C. S. Lewis

4. People will not look forward to posterity, who never look backward to their ancestors. Edmund Burke

5. To understand and reconnect with our stories, the stories of the ancestors, is to build our identities. Frank Delaney

6. OUR history begins before we are born. We represent the hereditary influences of our race, and our ancestors virtually live in us. James Nasmyth

7. If you share a common ancestor with somebody, you're related to them. It doesn't mean that you're going to invite them to the family reunion, but it means that you share DNA. I think it's fascinating. Henry Louis Gates

8. Some people are your relatives but others are your ancestors, and you choose the ones you want to have as ancestors. You create yourself out of those values. Ralph Ellison

9. Let them look to the past, but let them also look to the future; let them look to the land of their ancestors, but let them look also to the land of their children. Wilfrid Laurier

10. We are a continuum. Just as we reach back to our ancestors for our fundamental values, so we, as guardians of that legacy, must reach ahead to our children and their children. And we do so with a sense of sacredness in that reaching. Paul Tsongas

"8. Some people are your relatives but others are your ancestors, and you --choose the ones you want to have as ancestors--. You create yourself out of those values. Ralph Ellison"

He would probably have done quite a big mess if he would have been a Geni user with those values, but I guess that many users here already act in accordance with it.

"1. For the first half of geological time our ancestors were bacteria. Most creatures still are bacteria, and each one of our trillions of cells is a colony of bacteria. Richard Dawkins"

Keep that in mind if you want to join a mutual admiration society.

Odd things that makes us question others judgement skills.

"It's a puppet! 'Dying cat' rushed to vets by animal lover turns out to be a children's hand toy of a dog".

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3671386/It-s-puppet-Dying-c...

Today a danish user her on Geni gave me an ancestor whom he altered into being dead at an age of 150 year, I can't understand how the rest of the world have missed this unique record! Keep on using your brains...

Do you know what B I B L E stands for.

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

I don't think "aliens" have much use for such a B I B L E. But I do believe that people are in need of simple guidelines and a good set of rules in order to bypass all these absurd obstacles that we have created, religions included.

Another problem with correcting others grave mistakes, you can't.

Locked profile (the whole line down has been locked a couple of gen.).
Juliane Aagesdatter Thott MP
Born: 1335
Lund, Malmöhus Len, Sverige
Dead: 1345 (10)
Wife to Jens (Niels) Benedictsen I Hollunger, til Bramme
Mother of
Benedict Jensen Hollunger Born before 1320
Anders Dictus Gagggæ Hollunger Born between 1340-1354

Juliane Aagesdatter Thott

It's a dying cat, not it's a dog, no it's a puppet!

I agree with Ulf, see remark 12.49.
About 10 years ago I visited my Cousin Ulf in New York. who was inter alia also the organist in a local church. While there he got ill and with the musical gene running strong in the family I agree to stand in for him the Sunday.

I arrived at the church and told the minister who was preoccupied with thoughts of how he was going to ask the congregation to come up with more money than they were expecting for repairs to the church building. Therefore he was annoyed to find that the regular organist was ill and a substitute had to stand in. I asked him what I have to play .

"Here's a copy of the sermon, play something fittingbut when it comes to where I announced the financial position of the church to the congregation be sure to play the right Psalm or any other song.
All goes well and at a stage the minister paused and said " Brothers and Sisters , we are in great difficulty; the roof repairs cost twice as much as budged for and we need $4000 more will all who can pledge $100 or more please stand up. At that moment I started to Play "The Star spangled Banner' The whole of the 200 church goers rises and even a women who have been for 20 years in a wheel chair. a Miracle every body screamed.

They want to make me the regular organist, but I am not one to stole another persons job.
'

Well, one wife was dead for over 30 years before she got married, another one dies at age 10 and was a mother of two children, and nobody care that some sloppy curator have made more than 5000 peoples forefather into a creepy questionably figure, I'm glad he wasn't mine. I still questioning a lot as you see, sometimes even myself, but I do not create stupid wrongly profiles just because I can do it and if I did, I would be ashamed. So it's just an error someone thinks, we can live with that, but if we are talking about this site's credibility, nobody should accept it. I'm despite it all, glad that no one added "died when giving childbirth" to that 150 years old great great etc grandmother I noticed yesterday...

This is not humor but since some of the result might be humorous I wrote down this here in this thread anyway, just in case and maybe to prevent some disturbing laughs.

1. If you lock a profile, make sure that the information are triple checked so that it's not only in accordance with the sources, but also checked against errors and mistyping in the source.

2. Don't just lock profiles because, rather instead when there's a big probability that the profile are completed and no more details are likely to pop up.

3. You do not own your forefathers, they are not only yours but likely shared by many others, some of their descendants might even be involved in genealogy and or might have something important to add, do not attempt to hinder them by claiming sole right to your self or just people of your own nationality.

4. If you disagree with a kinship, a certain profiles parent/s or any of their scion, show why it's fault by supporting your claim by a good source that proves why you're right and the profiles are displayed wrong.

5. Common sense, use it! If the facts in a profile goes against the nature of laws, then the facts are most likely wrong. Very few people had children after the age of 60, they are likely counted on one hands finger before modern days assisted reproductive technology, and most likely without exceptions were all mothers in age of puberty which can vary by 10 year from at least eight to nine years of age, this in turn affects the calculations of an unknown minimum age of the mothers, and the largest confirmed range I have seen myself between two siblings is 40 years so 50 years should be taken as an very unlikely probability.

6. The use of sources are good, someone said that genealogy without sources are mythology, well it's pretty useless anyway if you want to prove any relationships without it. But anyway, there are cases when we can make a good assumption that someone most likely did belong to a certain family, make a note how and why if you are able to figure that out and write it in the about me section in the profile, this could also be quoted from a good trustworthy genealogy site.

I could probably go along with a lot more points, but my tips are, do not be afraid of using your brain, don't just take others result for granted, think yourselves!

@Ulf Ingvar Göte Martinsson
All of the above tips are good ones for all of us to remember. When we do find errors in a profile we need to bring it to the attention of the managers or the curator for that profile and go from there. Sometimes it is a typo, other times it is simply someone copying someone else's info which is in error. You can also start a discussion from the person's profile if there is a question regarding some or all of the info's validity. Common sense sometimes seems to be lacking with some of the profiles and the info they contain. When in doubt, check it out & see if you can find info to validate or disprove the info, then see what the managers/curator have to say--agree or disagree with what you have found...

I am unable to add humorous messages as I just upgraded my computer to El Capitan and now need to upgrade my Microsoft program, as the version I had no longer works(!!!) and am a little short of funds this month. Sooooo, I hope some of you who follow this discussion will add some jokes or humor for the time being. I am also still learning some of the things my computer can now do... Technology is fantastic, but it can also be a pain in the tush!!!!!!!!

Hi Patricia, Yes, new technologies always arrive with their own surprises! I hope your technological transition is a smooth one.

Here is a poem that describes some of my experiences while I am trying to find my ancestors:

I went looking for an ancestor and cannot find him still
He moved around from place to place and did not leave a will
He married where a courthouse burned. He mended all his fences
He avoided anyone who came to take the US census

He always kept his luggage packed, this man who had no fame
And every 20 years or so, this rascal changed his name
His parents came from Europe, they could be on some list
Of passengers to the USA, but somehow he got missed

And no one else is searching for this man
So I play geneasolitaire to find him if I can
I'm told he's buried in a plot, with a tombstone he was blessed
But the weather took the engraving and some vandal took the rest

He died before the county clerks decided to keep records
No family Bible has emerged in spite of all my efforts
To top it off this ancestor who has caused me many groans
Just to give me one more pain, married a lady named Jones!

Private User good portrayed and for many people it's probably something like that many times over and over again no matter country!

Noelle,
Thanks for the poem. I am sure that many Geni users have experienced the frustration expressed in it!

Old age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

******
A man has reached old age when he is cautioned to slow down by his Doctor instead of by the police.

******
While Peter was sunbathing naked at the beach at Noosa, for the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his private parts.
A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman, you'd lift your hat."

He raised an eyebrow and replied, "Madam, if you were better looking, it would lift itself."

******
An elderly lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam.. I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady. "I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."
"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 75 years old.
I just bought this hat yesterday!"

******

to No 57... Genealogy: where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.

Well, Irritate the living.... my mother's line stopped talking to me when I said I was going to do our family history. I was ordered to stay out of it. My maternal grandparents had a shotgun wedding... What a surprise. Never heard of that before. Only in about every other marriage going back a few hundred years.
Their loss.
jenny

Yesterday I corrected once again a badly set up profile, he was known under 1500 to 1518, that info had became his birth and date of death, he had a daughter with his first wife who died before 1515, the daughter was set up as born 1530. He was remarried 1515, and he also had a daughter with his second wife, and here I believe that the amount of information just gets too much for say 99% of all people, as they can't handle it.

Then I start to wonder, who's really doing genealogy and who's only collecting profiles, and why the later groups are so into it that they can accumulate up to several thousand of profiles here on Geni, but still can't manage to add their own grandparents, it is a mystery yet to be solved but I doubt that the answer will be to any satisfactory for me.

Then I start to think about why people follow some profiles, but reject others who is much closer, and why some of the people I follow have been quick to point out that our relationship are just like a drop of blood diluted in the ocean, but nevertheless, that should also be true regarding most lines beyond 17th cousin, if not more.

Another thing that puzzles me are people who when I say that I'm interested in Genealogy often respond that they are not, because they are more interested in living relatives, but when I dig deeper under the surface, that's really seldom true, most people seems to be a lot more interested in them self and celebrities, not their own families. Some say that blood is thicker than water, I believe only money and fame is, in each case, as long as it lasts.

Hopes she develops an interest for genealogy, could be a great future resource.
Only 4 years old and manage 7 language, amazing!
https://youtu.be/3fjXOfYUZ7M

Ancestry and Roots ~ Quotes 81-90

81- It turns out that every person alive today can trace his or her ancestry back to Africa. Everyone’s DNA tells a story of a journey from an African homeland to wherever you live. ~ Spencer Wells
82- Maybe if I go far enough back into my ancestry, I have African roots or something. I’ve got no idea. ~ Mick Taylor
83- I knew my mother was – well, her ancestry dated back to John Quincy Adams, so she was totally not Latina. She was definitely whatever you call it – white bread, shall we say? ~ Raquel Welch
84- A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots. ~ Marcus Garvey
85- Frankly, our ancestors don’t seem much to brag about. I mean, look at the state they left us in, with the wars, the broken planet. Clearly, they didn’t care about what would happen to the people who came after them. ~ Suzanne Collins, Mockingly
86- We’re all ghosts. We all carry, inside us, people who came before us. ~ Liam Callanan, The Cloud Atlas
87- The songs of our ancestors are also the songs of our children. ~ Philip Carr-Comm
88- You are the fairy tale told by your ancestors. ~ Toba Beta, My Ancestor Was an Ancient Astronaut
89- Music may be the activity that prepared our pre-human ancestors for speech communication and for the very cognitive, representational flexibility necessary to become humans. ~ Daniel J Levitin, This Is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession
90- Whatever my ancestors did to you, none of them consulted me. ~ Tad Williams, Shadowrise

Nice to have you back Patricia!